Mar 25, 2011

WHO'S That?

Here’s the deal. I have an overactive imagination. I know. You’re all looking at me with mouths hung wide open.
I. Have. An Overactive. Imagination.
I feel better now.
Let me tell you how I came to this conclusion.
This past week my darling husband and the rest of my family were in Las Vegas for the International Century 21 Convention. That left me and the three mini’s here at home. The first two days were peachy. No problems. I even slept with the lights off (I’m terrified of the dark.)
Day three … not so much.
I put the mini-me’s down to bed.
Locked up the house.
Double clicked the remote car alarms.
Took BOTH car alarm remotes upstairs with me in case of an intruder (yeah, I’m a big ‘ole chicken, but not an over imaginer!)
Crawled into bed and turned on the TV.
I flipped around the channels and found a documentary from Chapman University. That’s a school near my home so … legit, right?
I caught the documentary half way thru; buying everything as FACT! Even the owl warning sign! FACT! Check and double checked, because He-llo there’s a Chapman University logo in the bottom left hand corner!
Then, I saw the “footage” scene of a hypnosis session with a guy, in a bedroom, that sits straight up in bed screaming. Then levitating off his bed.
Yes! LE-VI-TATING!!!!!!

I was scared I didn’t know whether to sound the car alarms or hide under my covers!
OH. MY. GOODNESS! What had Chapman University discovered? And why the heck wasn’t this on main stream news? OMG, it’s a government conspiracy. HOLY COW was that an owl “whooing” outside my window!?!

Needless to say, I watched the end of that movie … both car alarm remotes in my hands like I was about to signal the start of the Daytona 500! I watched the closing credits. I watched the soundtrack credits and did not MOVE!
I finally drifted off to sleep, car alarms and cellphone attached to my body.

Then, at three A.M., I heard it.
I heard it in my hallway. I heard it on the stairs … And I heard the door open and get stuck on the mini-me-door-catcher-2000! (that’s a little bolt up at the top of the door that prohibits the 2yo mini-me from running down the street naked.) I hit those car alarms, woke up half the geriatric neighborhood I live in and heard IT run up the stairs and open my door.
I screamed.
The 2 year old mini-me/alien screamed.
And then we cried.
I turned off the alarms and reassured the neighbors I was okay.
Finally, I got the 2 year old some milk, tucked him in bed with me to give the owl warning system an option on which brain to abduct and finally Googled the damn psychiatrist name. Only to find out that Dr. Abigail Tyler was played by an Actress.
I wasn’t quite convinced, but was settled enough to get a few hours’ sleep.
The next morning I nonchalantly contacted my little brother who has a psychology degree from Pepperdine. Casually asked him if he heard of this documentary from Chapman University called THE FOURTH KIND.
My covered been blown. I knew by the belly jarring laughter on the other end.
“Mindy! That’s not a documentary! That’s a docudrama.”
“A who, what?”
“A docudrama. Like The Blair witch project!”
“Oh … --wait for it, my first step-- must have been my over-active-imagination.”
That night, I still slept with the car alarm remotes and all three mini-me’s in my bed. Those aliens were gonna have a smorgasbord of imagination to choose from … they are, of course, my kids.

Mar 18, 2011

Everybody Has a Random!

Did ya notice there was no Thursday Throwback? Probably not, but that's okay! The reason why there wasn't a TT was because this post needed to be a FF!  Yep, a FREAKY FRIDAY, cuz we 'bout to get some freak on.

Two days ago on twitter, the girls and I were giving another YA writer friend a hard time about an erotica novel that we all know is inside her ...(no pun intended). Yep, our twitter stream took on a dirty-giggly-slumber-partyesque tone.  Then to my complete and utter surprise on my Tivo was two-- yes, count 'um 2-- Glee episodes.  The first one was with Gwyneth Paltrow as Holly Holiday, which is only too perfect a stripper name. LOL

As I was watching the Sex episode it got me thinking about my peaches-n-cream-wholesome-fresh-faced-friend who we all know has a slutty character hiding in the depths of her artistic character catalog.   
So here goes ...
This first ever FREAKY FRIDAY Random is for you missy. 
From all your questionable friends on Twitter... WE LOVE YOU!!!!

Mar 16, 2011

Two Reasons...

I was putting my youngest mini-me down to bed for the one millionth time and for the one millionth time my 2 year old mini-me got back up, opened the door and asked, "Watta' mommy."
I took a deep breath, remembered that he was my miracle and walked him, calmly, back to bed.
Kisses good night.
A tuck of the cover.
I shut the door and waited just down the hall for him to open the door ... again.
As I was sitting criss-cross-apple-sauced in my hallway I wondered when this part of his tenacious two's would end.
Did I want it to end?
I mean, don't I want to raise a kid that's tenacious and doesn't take the first 'no' as the final answer?
Isn't that what I'm doing being a writer?
I took a huge risk walking out of the only job I'd ever known.  I was 18 when I started selling Real Estate and here I am, 20 years later, ... a toddler writer.
I know for certain, there will be a first no.
I know for certain it won't deter me.
Maybe, there's an agent sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce in her literary hallway, waiting for me to poke my head out and say, "Wanna read my book?"
Maybe, just maybe, there's an editor in that same hallway, having a carpet picnic with tea and scones who might say, "She's not giving up ... Let's take a look at what she's got."
Maybe ... just maybe.
But for now, the 2year old mini-me just poked his head out and asked for a glass of water.
I think, maybe, he deserves a sip ... and a cuddle.

Mar 3, 2011

What Are Words?

It's Thursday and I usually flash back to some song that's playing or played a role in my life.  This Thursday, I thought I'd flash forward.  I'm not much of an AMERICAN IDOL watcher. I didn't even know about Chris Medina or his story until this morning when a local radio station had him debut his new single, WHAT ARE WORDS, with Ryan Seacrest.
In the green room listening were Topher Grace and Ryan Kavanaugh.  They  were so moved by Chris and his undying devotion to the love of his life they pledged 1% of the film TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT's box office gross to the recovery fund for Chris' fiancee, Juliana.

I hope you enjoy the video and go see TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT this weekend with a loved one.

Mar 2, 2011

Sometimes You Need a Mommy-n-Me Day!

Monday’s are usually my go-to-get-it-all-done-run-like-crazy days. After I drop the mini-mes off at school, I swing by Walmart to re-stock the bare cupboards and naked refrigerator— the mini-mes consist of three, hollow-legged, boys who have yet to enter the double digit years!  God, help me. After Walmart, I fly home, and with the help of a magic wand … aka my iPod … I right the many wrongs that have occurred in our home. Sharpie art, missed shots in the bathroom and de-freak the dog. After lunch, I open up my Work In Progress and breathe as normalcy returns.

This past Monday, my momma called me up as I wandered the aisles of Walmart and said, “I need a movie and I’ll teach you how to make home made spaghetti sauce.”

My mother is Italian. She may be one of the only women I’ve ever met to graduate with a four year degree in home economics. Yes, like Martha Stewart, bake-a-cake, home economics. The woman can cook AND she was going to share my great-great-granny’s recipe.

Well, I’m certain you know what I did.
I stepped away from the one-size-fits-all sweater that fits NOBODY!!
Cart raced another mom to the only empty check out line.
Flew down the freeway.
Tossed the groceries in the fridge and left the non-melty ones in their bags on the floor of the kitchen.
Jumped back in the car and raced around the block to my momma’s house before she could change her mind about the sauce recipe!

An hour later with the sauce simmering and copious notes scribbled on the back of a Walmart receipt, we went and saw I AM NUMBER 4.

Half way through the movie my momma leaned over and said, “Your book would make a MUCH better movie.”

She went back to her buttered popcorn and watched the hottie, John Smith, save his girlfriend.
I settled back into the chair and realized, every now and again, you need a mommy and me day … even when you’re thirty-something.

That night I caught up on my book edits with my momma’s voice in my head and homemade lasagna in my belly.
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