Sep 27, 2011

Shredding Cheese & Writing a Book ... Trust me.

I’m in the third round of personal edits (my definition of edits before I send out the query letters) and that means I need lots and Lots and LOTS of cheese! Usually this cheese is melted over chips and makes NACHOS with bean dip and yummy salsa.  Some writers need chocolate, some need cinnamon bears, some need lemon bars … me I need CHEESE. So you can imagine the stream of bleeped out words that came from deep inside the refrigerator when I went to make Nachos and found NO CHEESE!
Okay, there was cheese but it wasn’t all nice and shredded and stored in an easy close bag. 

I needed my nacho fix because I am sooooo close to being done and moving on to the find an agent phase of this journey.  Also, tomorrow I play accountant so that means no edits, no creativity … not unless I want the taxman to come a knockin’. 
So, the cheese…

I could go to the store, but the only thing that makes me not a recluse is the fact that I have children who force me to leave the house. When they're at school, I'm inside ... with a block of cheese.

How hard could it be to shred a nacho plate worth of cheese?
Off I went searching and in the very, very back of the cabinets I found this…

Yep, an old-fashioned cheese grater!
I cut a wedge of cheese, figured out how to not shred my knuckles and away we went

Rub, rub, rub!
Shred, shred, shred!

My triceps started to burn…

Images of well-toned triceps made me shred harder until the wedge was gone.
Not so bad…

Until I lifted the grater and found only a few flakes of cheese.

So another wedge, more burn and … ugh.
Not nearly enough cheese.

Wedge, burn, lift. Ugh.

Wedge, burn, lift.
It continued on and on until… BAM a nacho plate full of cheese.
As the microwave melted my heavenly edit snack I was thinking:
1.       No wonder our grandmas had toned arms.
2.       No wonder our moms weren’t really over weight.
3.   Shredding cheese is a whole lot like writing a book.

Just when you think you’ve put the finishing touches on the thing, you open up the critique partners or beta readers’ comments and realize… not enough yet and go back to shredding.
But one day, one day it’ll be ready and hopefully an agent will open their microwave and say, “YUMMY!!!! I need this book!!!!”

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